Go Away, Salma Hayek.

Why is it that every time I have tried to go somewhere in the last few days, Salma Hayek has been there to get in my way?  I think that, at best, you are a mediocre actress, Ms. Hayek.  I must insist that you stop inconveniencing me.

All I want to do is walk from point A to point B with a minimum of hassle.  But no!  I have to walk all the way around through points C, D, E, and F because streets are blocked because "Oh my God!  Salma Hayek is shooting a movie!"  

Well,  thank you for aiding the flailing New Orleans economy, but goddamn!  Enough is enough.  You cannot have all the streets of the city for your film.  You cannot!  It is illogical.  This is not a film set, it is a business center.  We have business to attend to!

And, Ms. Hayek-- what movie are you shooting?  Oh, you're filming on 'Cirque du Freak', an epic  fantasy trilogy from director Chris Weitz.  That sounds promising.

Is this the same Chris Weitz who so poorly mangled 'The Golden Compass' that the combined might of Nicole Kidman and Sam Elliot could not save it?  I still sit in awe at New Line's decision to allow him to make a project that cost so very much and was so very important to the studio's future.  The man made his mark by directing 'American Pie' and 'About a Boy'... what in those films made you think he could handle an epic fantasy trilogy?  

Well, he failed.  'The Golden Compass' was awful, it tanked at the box office, and New Line Cinema went bankrupt. And now, some other studio has handed him another fantasy trilogy.  That's like letting Hitler babysit Jewish youths in 1954.

Anyway, my days are inconvenienced by all this nonsense, and I grow weary of this conflict.  Take your wires and your cranes and your cameras and go somewhere else.  Give me back Natchez Street immediately.  I demand it.