On Cities

San Francisco disappoints me. The Castro is not like the Moulin Rouge, the Haight is not like Woodstock, the Golden Gate is just a bridge and everything is too goddamn expensive. But it's always worth the trip.

Las Vegas is horrifying. Hallucinogenic and strangely uniform, all about appearances and vacant and evil. But it's always worth the trip.

New York and New Orleans defy description-- they are wonderful.

Austin is handicapped by the fact that it is in Texas. In vain attempts to reject that fact it drives hard for hipness and overshoots the mark, landing in pretension village and rollicking about, convinced it is wonderful when really it is simply pseudo-delightful.

Portland is like Austin, without the handicaps, in a better location. It is delightful.

Atlanta and Los Angeles were desinged by children throwing darts tied to strings at maps of Southern California and Central Georgia. Burning them downa nd starting anew should be seriously considered.

Nashville and Tucson are small and filled with charms. Too suburban and civilized for great adventures, but places to level out and enjoy quiet reflection.

And Chicago. Chicago starts out with low expectation-- it is in the Mid-West, the American capital of dull. How wondrous could it possibly be? Oh, how it exceeds low expectations! It is livable and vibrant an alive. It is the kind of place where you hop off of a bus and within ten minutes a man tries to sell you acid on the street. Where you hop the subway and ride through urban landscapes that are beautiful and functional. It is a place where things work.

I heart Chicago.