Some Thoughts on the Academy Award Telecast

I don't think anyone could look any better...

I thought that No Country for Old Men was the best film of the year-- the best directed, the best written. So, why do I resent it winning awards for all those things? Let me tell you. I hate Joel and Ethan Coen. I hate them as people-- their personalities, their demeanors, their stupid faces. No Country for Old Men was the first of their films that rose above the smarmy detached irony of their other work, and it was a masterpiece. But when they got on stage and accepted their awards all that self-effacing apathy that I detest about them was on full display.
Up until now, I had No Country for Old Men completely separated from my hatred for it's directors. Seeing them accepting awards for it brought that all back home. It is certainly a great film...directed by assholes. I wish Daniel Day-Lewis had leapt on stage and bludgeoned them to death with his Oscar.

Marion Cotillard is smoking, Amy Adams is delightful, Katherine Heigl is a hyperventilating fool, and Kristen Chenowith is, despite her vagina, the man.

Hey, you... You're a joy!

I enjoyed how, after he nearly fell, Colin Farrell told everyone they should make the floor less slippery, and they ignored him. Then John Travolta nearly fell in the exact same spot. It sure is a good thing that Irishmen are so used to being drunk they never, ever fall and Scientologists don't believe in gravity.

And way to go, Jon Stewart, for bringing Marketa Irglova back on stage to finish her acceptance speech for Once, after she was rudely cut off. And way to go, Marketa, for delivering a good speech and not blowing the opportunity.

I enjoy the way everyone is insanely jealous of George Clooney, so they make fun of him to make themselves feel better. I also enjoyed the way he and Daniel Day-Lewis made out after DDL won. Speaking of DDL... "This is a golden sapling that has grown out of the mind of Paul Thomas Anderson." WTF?

What a strange and wonderful man...

I'm totally over Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford. Please retreat gracefully into obscurity now.


Best Dressed: Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman. Worst Dressed: Tilda Swinton, Diablo Cody, and Kristen Chenoweth (the dress she performed in, not the red carpet gown). And, really...can we all agree that four sexier, sultrier, more blood-lettingly attractive people have never won the four acting awards in the same year?

Sex Personified

I'll have some of this, too. And finally... shame on you, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for not including Brad Renfro in "In Memorium". I can't think of a single acceptable reason for this slight. I think an apology should be issued immediately.