Kicking and Screaming Out of the Closet

I'm tottering somewhere between amusement, outrage and satisfaction.  I have just been told that I'm not gay enough.  To work in a gay bar.  As security.

Well, they didn't say it quite like that.  They were kinder.  They told me that they didn't like to hire straight guys because they seldom worked out very well in the high-volume, sometimes handsy atmosphere.  I nodded, although I was a bit confused as to why this information was being presented.  Then we talked about my experience and whether I had any past gay bar experience.  Of course I had, in DC, at the Eagle, but since that was such a short gig and not even listed on my application I left it out.  I instead turned the focus to Ohm in New Orleans, which is, unfortunately, straight.

After a few more needling, back-handed searching remarks it became clear that they thought I was some recession-driven, economically desperate straight boy willing to do anything for a job.  So I had to come out of the closet, again, and prove that I was really an only moderately desperate gay boy who would do anything for a job granted it didn't involve a background check (They always come back negatively due to discrepancies with my tax returns and my registered addresses and my job history.  That's the major problem with transient wanderings).  Well, I burst forth from the closet and was met with... skepticism.  They didn't believe me... they pretended to, as not to be rude, but clearly they thought I was a opportunistic heterosexual pining for a part-time gig.  Stupid beard, I blame you for this...

Oilcan Harry's claims to be the most popular club in Austin, gay or straight, and for all I know that is true.  It certainly seemed way to nelly to be a place I would want to hang out on the weekends, but maybe in Austin effeminate heterosexuals flock there with the fags to escape the pretentious stench of Lone Star-drenched hole in the wall indie clubs.  I have no idea.  I do know that they called me back and told me that they would keep my application but could not offer me a position at this time.

When supporting anti-discrimination laws based on sexual orientation, this is not the situation I imagined.  I feel like I just went to California and tried to buy a marriage licence ... only to be turned away because they didn't think I was an American citizen.