Hamburger or steak? Hamburger or steak?

A little rage at a stupid person and a stupid behavior:

I was at an IHOP, it was early in the morning and sitting adjacent to me was a three top of highway patrolmen. Or maybe NOPD. Either way, it's irrelevant. They were law enforcment officers, regardless of their exact affiliation. Anywho, they were waiting for their food, and I was waiting for my food and the waitress was ready to go home because it was about 4:30am.

And then she brought out their food and she asked, very kindly "Who had the big steak omlette?" And one of the patrolmen said, quite frankly, "I don't know what I ordered." I wanted to get up from my booth, take that heavy porcelain plate from the waitress's hand and bash him over the head with it until he cried.

I have waited tables and I have been to many different restaurants. There is absolutely no fucking reason for you to order food and then, ten minutes later, have no idea what it was you ordered. Are you that easily distracted? Could you even read the menu?

Hold on though, let me clarify something: actually there are two situation where it is acceptable.

1. You are intoxicated. If you are high or drunk, you're forgiven for not knowing what you ordered. You're not forgiven for being a public nuisance, but you are forgiven for not remembering what kind of food you requested.

2. You're in a restaurant that is of an ethnicity with which you are not familiar. Japanese, Thai, African, Lebanese, maybe even Chinese-- so you don't quite remember what you ordered? Okay, whatever, it's probably chicken and rice stretched out into eighteen syllables-- you don't deserve to have your nipples chopped off and shoved down your throat.

But if you are a highway patrolman who is on duty (and therefore, theoretically, sober) and at an IHOP, there is no excuse for this annoying, frustrating, unforgivable ignorance. I'm suprised you were able to drive your car to the IHOP in the first place. It terrifies me you are allowed into a profession that allows you to carry a gun.

There is no more frustrating waste of a server's time than to spend three minutes pondering what type of food you ordered 15 minutes ago. If you can't remember this simple, obvious thing, can I really trust you with any food at all? Do you know how to chew? Mightn't you choke? That's a liability. On one plate I have a hamburger. On the other is a steak. Which is yours? Oh, you don't know? You deserve to starve.