Sunday, January 13, 2008

Exercises in Pointlessness: "Keep those candles lit!"

Last night (01/12) I worked as barback at the Ohm Lounge, as I am wont to do on occasional Saturday nights.  Barbacking at the Ohm Lounge, let me point out, is a fairly easy job--it consists mostly of bussing tables and getting ice and taking out trash. Simple stuff.

However, there is one aspect of the Ohm Lounge that is so humorously pointless, so ridiculously tedious, that it deserves further discussion.

When you walk into the door of the Ohm Lounge, there is a wall with lots of little shelves, and on those shelves reside dozens and dozens of tea lights.  IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT ALL THE TEA LIGHTS STAY LIT AT ALL THE TIME!!!   

So, you light the candles.  And then someone comes through the door, and half the candles blow out.  And then the manager or the owner comes over to you and says "Hey.  Why don't you light the candles on the wall?  More than half of them are out."  So, you light the candles again.  And then someone comes through the door again, and half the stupid candles blow out again.  And then the manager or owner comes over to you again and says "Hey.  Why don't you light the candles on the wall?  More than half of them are out."

In the end you spend more than half your time lighting candles that will blow out as soon as a new customer comes through the door.  And then the manager or owner comes over to you and says, again, "Hey.  Why don't you light the candles on the wall?  More than half of them are out."  

So you stab him in the chest.  And light the fucking candles.

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