In Memory: Heath Ledger

Two days ago, if you had asked me to compile a list of my favorite actors currently working, it would have looked like this:

Heath Ledger

Clive Owen

Colin Farrell

Brad Pitt

Ewan McGregor

I don't want to have to change that list.  I really don't.  I am deeply saddened by the death of Heath Ledger.  As much as I care about film, the loss of a favorite actor is akin to the loss of an old friend.  I am in a very unpleasant state--I am in denial.  I wish this were not so.

He could carry a mediocre star vehicle (A Knight's Tale, Casanova) with the best of them.  He was the best thing in bad movies (The Patriot, The Brothers Grimm), made mediocre movies bearable (Brokeback Mountain, Monster's Ball), and could stand out in an ensemble that buried other stars (Lords of Dogtown, I'm Not There).  And I imagine, this summer, we'll see that he could very well anchor a summer block buster (The Dark Knight).

It was 3:30, and I was sitting in the office.  The end-of-the day slog was upon us.  And then George announced "Hey...the guy in Brokeback Mountain died."

First thought:  I hope he means Jake Gyllenhaal.

I got online.

Second thought:  Fuck.  He doesn't.

I read the middling CNN article, and then I moved over to joblo.com, where the news had struck a chord with fanboys across the net.  The day was ruined.  The week was ruined.  My mind is occupied with it still.

Was this what it was like to be sitting in a cafeteria in the early 60's, the principal coming across the loudspeaker to announce the president had been assassinated?  To hear that the James Dean was in a car accident?  That Marilyn was found in the nude?

He was a great actor, and he had finally proven that.   He had made it to the A-list.  He was going to start getting offered the good roles.  He was risky, he had the matinee-idol looks, and he was selective.  There was an incredible filmography in his future.  And box office glory.  And Oscar.  And now there is nothing.

Drugs?  Suicide?  Accidental or not?  Who cares.  Will a reason, a cause, an answer change the fact that he is gone?  Must all the greats become a cautionary tale?  Let him be.

I cannot begin to speculate on what those who knew him have lost, and their pain is greater than ours.  But we have lost a god of the screen in this new century of cinema.  We have been deprived forty-plus years of incredible screen work.  We have lost a friend we could count on to entertain, to mesmerize, to light up the screen.  Now there are only memories, and shadows on the wall.

Heath Ledger, RIP.